2012 was a busy year for SEOs. A year of Google Panda and Penguin updates, more localization changes than you can shake a stick at, some kind of design update on nearly every social media platform, and more. Searches have been busy too. To close out the year, we’ve gathered the very best of the odd, the hilarious, the gross, and the just plain bizarre searches of 2012.
These are real searches that people conducted on Google from January, 2012 – December, 2012.
“Ex boyfriend dog toy”
- No this is not an excuse to have your dog destroy your ex’s favorite shirt. There is actually a dog toy called “the ex-boyfriend.” For the record, he is not an attractive man.
“how to stop anti bullying”
- We’re really hoping this searcher just doesn’t understand double negatives.
- Not a strange query, we just love the enthusiasm. You make those acorn cookies searcher!
“pain management cuddle treatment”
- Cuddle treatment! This sounds way better than shots or pills.
“# dead voters in florida”
- That’s it. The zombie apocalypse is finally here. (Okay, so this actually refers to the voter fraud scandal in Florida where 53,000 dead voters were registered to vote. Still creepy.)
“causes of teen pregnancy”
- Is it excessive candy? Too much TV? I’ve always wondered!
“instant bullying kit”
- All of the bullying with none of the work! But seriously, we hope these bullying queries are done by confused searches. Bullying prevention is serious business.
“antler chew vomit”
- Don’t even know what to say to this one. Except EW.
“scholarships based on height”
- Strange, but true. You can actually get up to $1,000 for guys 6’2” and taller and girls 5’10” and taller. Little People of America has a scholarship for people 4’10” and under.
“2 pounds of butter in baking”
- I don’t even care what you’re making with this recipe, all I know is: I want in.
“oops I got Chlamydia”
- The newest Britney Spears hit?
“help I m addicted to tumblr”
Thanks for sticking with us through the gross, absurd, and down-right strange searches in 2012. Stay tuned for what 2013 will bring!