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“In addition to the daily optimization of our search campaigns, the team at Nina Hale, Inc continues to bring fresh, new ideas to Room & Board to help drive online traffic and sales.” — Jill Linville, Director of Communications, Room & Board

“Porn as Pain Management” and Other Weird Searches of 2011

During our daily travels through all things digital, we here at Nina Hale Inc Search Engine Marketing see some pretty strange search queries. Join us on a trip through the strange, the hilarious, and the down-right bizarre in round three of “Weird Searches from NHI.”

These are real searches that people conducted on Google from February, 2011 – December, 2011.

  1. “Porn as pain management”
    • Uh huh. Sounds like something my ex-boyfriend would have claimed: “no, really honey! It does, I read about it in Maxim.” Maybe it’s the lamest Psych 101 experiment ever, we really didn’t want to dig too deep to figure it out.
  2. “Cure snoring by playing digideroo”
    • Well, supposedly it strengthens your throat muscles or something… I guess if I were desperate I would try it out.
  3. “Pooping for charity”
    • We have one word for this: Eeeewwww! This is an alternate reality we don’t want to live in. X2 for the not wanting to go too deep into the bowels of Google search to figure out this one <ahem>.
  4. “How do you fake a bladder infection?”
    • This is how you might retaliate against your boyfriend’s pain management methods (a vicious cycle!)
  5. “Baby pandas for sale”
    • Seriously? Please also refer to our previous post with the entire list of most popular baby animals for sale (and we’re not talking about stuffed plushies).
  6. “How much did milk duds use to cost”
    • Our kind of searcher!
  7. “Cosmic war criteria”
    • It’s good that the off-the-gird community is truly planning ahead. After all, someone has to look after all us wimps unable to deal with alien invasions. But really, someday we should put together a list of the top searches we’ve identified as off-the-grid survivalists because they can get pretty wacky.
  8. “Where can I get some Charlie Sheen?”
    • Good question! Gimmee some of that winning magic.
  9. “Equocoliptous boupouri”
    • This one wins the prize for Google’s correctly identified phonetic search of the month (Eucalyptus Potpourri)
  10. “Goat play equipment”
    • No it’s not some creepy fetish, it just turns out that some farmers like to keep their fun-loving goats amused. We even found a site with a nice product. Awww, cue the Willie Nelson video of “the Scientist” (for Chipotle)!
  11. “Room and boars”
  12. “Snore sounds like horse puffing”
    • How do you know what a horse puffing sounds like? It is puffing ON something?

 

It’s an odd world out there in the Internet. Check back again in a few months to see more crazy searches uncovered by our search marketing gurus.

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by +Katie Pennell

One Response to ““Porn as Pain Management” and Other Weird Searches of 2011”

  1. LOL the first search actually comes from an episode of “Greys Anatomy”. Its awesome you find these and add this hilarious commentary! I subscribed just to see more of these.

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